The Rock(no, not Don Muraco...that guy with the manboobs who was in The Scorpion King)
Born on planet Smackdown, Dwayne "Don't call Rock, well no, maybe you should" Johnson was born via electrucution from a raging thunderstorm, permanently electrifying his neurons, thus literally making him the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. He was sent away from the planet while it was being destroyed from said thunderstorm to preserve it's legacy. His real parents, a metamorphic rock and Lyndon B. Johnson, died in the planet's destruction, but live on in the hearts of volcanos and Republicans worldwide. Rock's first foray in his new home was attending cooking classes, where he became less known for his actual cooking skills and more known for his insistence on making sure everyone knew what he was cooking. This was a result of the electrcution in his brain, it gave him a permanent mental disability that he could only cope with by spamming catchphrases and talking about monkey's anuses. While it puzzled the school, Vince McMahon (who had been attending for reasons he doesn't have to explain, fuck you, I'm Vince McMahon dammit), took an interest in Rock's physical size and promptly brought him into the WWF, giving him leftover streamers from the Ultimate Warrior and a strategically placed pineapple in his hair in hopes that he would get over. Kids love pineapples and streamers are cool, so it seemed like a flawless plan. Alas, Rock's ultra smiling demeanor quickly wore thin on the edgy fans who demanded sex, drugs, and rock n roll, because they were teenagers. Vince completely forgot Rock even existed, as his attention had now shifted to mastering the ablity to controlling his own sneezes. As a result, Rock was able to cut loose and let his mental disability take over. To make a long story short, it worked, and he became the biggest star in the business since TL Hopper. Rock was harshly criticized for leaving the business for Hollywood and refusing to be like his contempararies, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, by staying in the spotlight for another 15 years on a weekly basis and demanding that he shouldn't drop the strap to Bret Hart, because he wasn't ready brother. Rock's movie career hits include Doom and The Tooth Fairy. These movies were widely praised as the greatest of all time, just behind No Holds Barred and They Live. Rock returned in 2011 by staggering into the arena WWE was holding RAW in that night and mistaking John Cena for a giant bowl of fruity pebbles. Rock was extraordinarily hungry, so he demanded that he bed fed Cena at Wrestlemania in order to satiate his hunger. He was greatly disappointed when he found out Cena was actually a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Category:Cunts Category:Douche Category:Doesn't have 'IT' Category:Fucking gay Category:Half-breeds Category:Insipid crap Category:People Who are Actually Worse Than Josh Matthews Category:Worse than Michael Jackson Category:Loser Category:NO BUYS Category:No Buys~! Category:People who live in different dimensions Category:Worse than Brian Blair Category:Men Bryan Alvarez is gay for Category:Never drew a dime Category:Retards Category:People who SUCK Category:Assholes Category:Faggots Category:Manboobs Category:Has killed someone Category:Unclipped Dicks